Fran and Mat, 2009

Question: when does whipped cream lead to a marriage?  Answer: when Mat asked Fran what ‘Schlagsahne’ meant?

The very first day Mat was in Eutin on the 2000 K.U. study abroad program, Mat met some German students outside the Brauhaus Eutin on the Market Square.  He asked Fran the question. 

“I was just breaking the ice,” Mat explained.

“’Schlagsahne’ was written on a menu board outside,” Fran said.  “It means whipped cream.  It was just such a random question.”

June 2018

That question led to a nine-year courtship which ended in a 2009 marriage.  But, as it turns out, the couple were in close proximity to each other a year earlier.  Fran studied as an exchange student at McLouth High School, 18 miles north of Lawrence.  Meanwhile, Mat grew up in Oskaloosa, just ten minutes from McLouth.

“We were geographically close by,” Fran said, “but didn’t know it until a year later.  We ended up knowing some of the same people I had met in high school.”

But maintaining a relationship across the ocean proved to be somewhat of a challenge.  They kept in touch mostly by emails and phone calls and visited each other once a year.  “I missed my final prom and gymnasium graduation because I came over.” Fran said.

Then Fran studied architecture in Germany and had two internships in the U.S.  But Fran had exhausted the internship visa.  “It’s not as simple as finding a job.” Fran remembered.  “You had to find someone to sponsor you.”  So Fran became Mat’s sister’s nanny.  Mat and Fran became engaged in 2009, which led to Fran returning to Germany for 6 months, the time it took to get a fiancée visa.

“The whole process is more difficult than everybody thinks,” Mat described.  “It’s not just getting married and everybody has a green card.  It takes a bit of planning.”

“For the longest time, I always felt as though I was doing something wrong,” Fran related.  “I always had to ask permission and make sure I got the right paperwork.”

Fran and Mat had a courthouse wedding in 2009 with a small reception at Mat’s parents’ house. They returned to Germany in 2011 to be wed near Eutin with a more traditional ceremony. 

Both Fran and Mat’s parents are glad for their children’s happiness.  And Fran joked, “I was Mat’s sister’s nanny for a year, so maybe that was my test,”

The couple has 2 children.  Both sets of grandparents see their grandchildren regularly.  “We video conference with my parents weekly,” Fran said, “And Mat’s parents are close by in Oskaloosa, so we visit them often.”

Fran practices architecture with a firm in Lawrence, and Mat works in auto finance with a bank based out of state.  The couple lives in a rural area near Lawrence.

When asked what advice they would give to people considering transcontinental relationships, Mat noted, “Don’t listen to the people that say it can’t ever work.”

“I must have heard that a hundred times,” Fran revealed, “Why don’t you guys break up right now ‘cause that’s never going to work!”

Both Fran and Mat are advocates for exchange programs such as Sister Cities Lawrence.  “I encourage anybody to get involved in it,” Mat noted.  “You learn a lot, get a new perspective, change your world view, and maybe meet somebody and get married.”